Today I’m taking it upon myself to heal, just a bit more. I was abused. Mostly emotionally and a little bit physically, by my ex-fiance. It’s still difficult to admit out loud that my relationship was actually abusive. Hurtful. Impairing. Wrong. It took me so long to get over what happened and I still have to deal with the repercussions everyday. So does my partner. I’m more fragile, more alert, more afraid of being abandoned. It’s harder to let down my guard, to open up. It’s hardest still to know that some days, somehow, I still wish I had meant enough to my ex for him not to treat me with such utter disregard.
But I promise myself, I will never let something like that happen again. Because I am worth so much more than that.