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The Dangers of Extra-Marital Sex

October 13, 2010

This is not going to be a post on the horrible, life altering things that will happen to you if you have sex outside of marriage. I promise I am not a bible-belt, gun-toting conservative woman who is going to lecture you all about how you’re siding with the devil if you aren’t going to have a ‘white wedding’. I don’t believe in this nonsense. Personally? I thought I would wait until marriage. Now, I’m not so sure. But either way, I think it’s a personal choice. No matter who you are, it’s a matter of feeling like the time is right for you. So no, I’m not here to lecture anyone.

But, I am here to tell a story. I think it’s important. Because while a budding adult might worry about pregnancy or pain as a result of their first sexual encounter, there are other dangers in the world to think about. Some of them are already in your front door.

A close friend (let’s call her Alex) of mine recently decided, after much prayer, thought, and consideration, that she wanted to have extra-marital sex with her current partner. They researched birth control methods, made sure they were taking every safety precaution, and talked before hand to make sure that it was a well-thought out, joint decision. Everything that my parents ever asked me to do if I chose to have sex with a partner. Unfortunately, Alex’s parents didn’t feel the same. I’ll leave out all the details of why she told them, but they would have found out nonetheless. Now they’re treating her like dirt, calling her a whore, threatening her, assuring her that she had no idea what love is. Screaming over the phone and throwing silverware. Alex fears for her own safety, from her parents. People who should love her and care about her and support her decisions, even when they don’t agree with them. My beautifully intelligent friend, who did everything in her power to make an informed choice, is now setting up safe houses, making emergency plans, setting aside money in a savings account in case she has to leave her home out of fear that they know where to find her.

My reason for writing this is so that you all can know that it happens. To the most normal of people, in the most average of places. And if anyone reading this is a parent, please think about how your words, your actions, affect your children. We grow up. We make our own choices. And no, you may not always agree with us. Sometimes you surely know better because we’re just tiny little idiots trying to find our way in this big wide world. But it’s still our life. Our choices. Our safety and security and comfort at stake.

So please support us. You should hope your children never have to live through an abusive relationship; don’t make it your own.

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